I need a CAR! Soonest.


(sigh)* I really need a car. Commuting to work is not doing me any good,am left tired most of the time. I’ve always dreamed of owning a mini cooperphoto borrowed from flicker or a passat or a Toyota ist.

But since my budget will never ever allow it and I might probably have to save up for my entire life/ 2 lifetimes, I’ll just have to settle for a toyota vits(as pathetic as vits is) or a Nissan March. Both are cute and girly enough I suppose? Plus they consume less fuel ๐Ÿ™‚

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Another boring Monday(mm)


I was up all night jana watching America’s next top Model and had a very disturbing realization. Sure I like what Tyra is doing but how comes the pretty girls never win. And how comes the nice girls always get thrown out so soon? The weird part is that the ugly, mean and nasty girls always stay inย  the competition. The drama queens.

And another thing…how comes the mean,nasty,bitter,loudmouthed,ugly girls are always black? Ok, I have nothing against people of my race but why does it always seem like young black women have no class? They are the ones who are always hurling insults at others, getting drunk and starting fights. I really wonder…or maybe ANTM is trying to portray black women as uncivilized hmmm.

I was very happy with cycle 10. A plus size model won…she was pretty and nice too, I think that’s what a true top model should be like. And the word plus size doesnt sound so nice because she wasnt at all fat…she was just a size 12(according to Kenyan standards) Anyway, cycle 12 was just horrible! With Sandra in the house causing drama left right and centre. Thank God she was eliminated!

Anyway, enough with the top mode vibe… I have nothing to post today really so I just thought it would be nice to blab about Top Model. hmmm, I dont think I could ever be a model though, I love food too much. I couldn’t live under the constant pressure of weighing a certain amount of kilograms and starving myself so that I stay thin. I could be a creative director though…or a photographer. Photography has always been my one true hobby. Although, people tell me its an expensive hobby which sounds stupid because one doesn’t have to invest in expensive cameras to produce good photos. It’s all about learning the angles and using the light well…with a little creativity!

I seriously need to get a new Hobby!


Best week ever! Not so much to do,my boss is in Arusha so basically all I do is listen to music on YouTube all day! Hmmm, I just pray to the man above that my boss never ever stumbles upon this blog or I’ll be screwed! Anyway, I found a new way to brighten my mornings…’Ray William Johnson’. I swear to God this guy is so hilarious! And I don’t mind the gay-racial jokes either…y’all should check out his videos;

Anyhow…nothing’s new. Just my usual boring weekly schedule;;

Monday blues!(I hate Mondays,why? because I have a good relationship with my bed and I could sleep all day if given the chance)

Terrific Tuesdays(the perfect excuse for putting on more weight)

Wacky Wednesdays(another excuse to get fat. But wait! now I get to do Karaoke on Wednesdays at this new place I discovered)

Thirty Thursdays(I used to love Thursdays while I was in campus.Now, not so much! alcohol doesnt awe me that much anymore, but once in a while its good to have a drink after work…like normal people)

Friday movie night(I love my new Friday routine,mostly because I just get to cuddle in my bed and watch horror movies then have sleepless nights the following week because of the terror.hehehe!just kidding, I cuddle up in my bed watching chick flicks and cartoons. Nerdy right? ๐Ÿ™‚ I know!)

Sporty Saturdays(am not much of a sports person. In fact am so lazy I sleep for exercise! JK,but I seriously have a hard time getting up on Saturdays to go swimming as much as that’s the only sport I consider enjoyable. But I guess its coz of the cold weather,so am still hibernating)

Lazy Sundays(nothing much on this day…just church then back to bed. Except for those occasional times when am daring enough to go for a banana ride at Lunar park. Yeah, and am never doing that again)

This year’s mission… I have to go bungee jumping heehaw!ย  (laugh*snort) yeah right! As if!maybe if I wanted to die young. But anyhow,since I intend to live forever (of which am doing well so far) I will continue engaging in less risky hobbies like sleeping ๐Ÿ™‚

That’s all about my boring routine. Hmmm,maybe I should let out some details about my love life(of which you will keep waiting for) because I don’t post gory,personal details about my love life on the web(because I have none) But come to think of it…I’ll just let out a little,,Am in love! Well not literally, but I think I found my soul-mate. But I’ll just give it two more weeks to know if its truly love or just lust, then I’ll keep y’all posted!. All in all the dude in question is not so tall, dark,deep-voiced,sexy lips,brown-lovely eyes (that stare at me soooo intensely at times I start to feel as if some imaginary pins are pricking me all over),six-packed chest,athletic build,strong arms and above all,he’s an IT genius…so who wouldn’t fall in love with this sex god???

So I guess its just lust..it will pass.

Have a great weekend everyone. And remember…don’t drink and drive,instead,share a cab with some random fly guys then we can all share the gory details next week. That is of course if they dont turn out to be schizophrenic psychos who murder women just for the fun of it hahahaha! JK, dont share a cab with random handsome men,get a designated driver ๐Ÿ™‚

DAILY HASSLES OF A WORKING GIRL


Hi all! It’s been long since my last blog-post, but am back!

Nothing’s new in my life. Am just settling in to my new job, no actually am settled. Its fabulous! I am on a 7am-4pm schedule. 2hours lunch break and My work station is just the isht! My new boss actually allowed me to pimp it to suit my needs. And above all, no MATH on this job! heehehehh(evil laugh)

But anyway, as much as am in paradise there’s also the pressure to not disappoint my boss coz he believes in me alot. So I read alot of business journals to keep myself up with current issues. And I have to admit that this is partly because of the embarrassment I experienced a few weeks ago..my boss had this major partner coming over and he left me the responsibility of taking care of him. Taking care of him means entertaining…and I completely blew it! You see, in all my experience, the word entertaining(to me)literally means having fun and loosing it.

So, here’s mistake number 1…

I completely forgot to do a background check on the partner and the 1st meeting was just pathetic. So I meet this really learned middle-aged guy and I find it hard to keep the conversation flowing because am not well informed on World Custom issues. And the worst part was when he asked me”what is the average population of Nairobi” and I had no answer to that because frankly I don’t really care.

Mistake number 2…

Seeing as I don’t really read business journals and I couldn’t keep up with his flow I decided to change the subject. So I offered to to show him around the duty free shops so that we could awe him with the fact that our airport is really cool(and possibly buy some booze if he wanted to). That dint go well, apparently our Kenyan duty free shops dont have much to offer. The guy has been to airports all over the world ours dint really excite him that much. Ouch! So I get the driver and we drop him off at his hotel.

Mistake number 3…

Myย  boss asked me to show his partner’s wife around town…maybe do some shopping. That wasn’t so bad,coz am a genius when it comes to shopping so obviously we had a blast! The problem started when I had to take them to lunch,gosh! What kind of IDIOT takes clients for pizza! nkt!

Mistake number 4…

As Kenyans we seem to love tea alot so for the office meeting(at 2pm) we served chai na mkate ๐Ÿ˜€ The bread was so horribly sliced that I myself couldn’t stand to look at it. The office assistant did it, deliberately embarrassing me.

Mistake number 5…

…being the ‘good hostess’ that I am I decided to buy some fresh juice for them to make up for it. To my surprise,on returning to the office, a certain person had drank almost half of it. Oh boy! So I had half a bottle of juice which obviously wasn’t going to be enough for everyone. Anyway, due to my good organizational skills I was able to work something out.

But to this date, I am still trying to find out who could be so stupid to drink half a bottle of that juice hehehe! Idiot! Anyway,we all learn from mistakes so next time there wont be a repeat of the same.

 

 

 

STRESS AND THE CITY


Morning guys! Am back!

I was a bit low on inspiration this past week,but my spirit is back! Reason for my lack of inspiration…hmmm, lots of things including a series of hangovers. Am through clubbing…am never stepping into another club again! At least for the next 3 weeks ๐Ÿ™‚ Plusย  I got this new job and am so busy doing research that I barely even have time to blog anymore. I have to gather all the info I can on trade customs in preparation for any cerebral duties I might be asked to perform. Hence the extensive reading. But my new boss is just the bestest and I totally love my new work place ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyhow………

Today I sat on the front row of a matatu and my experience was tormenting eish! You see, Kenyan matatus have in-built dustbins,or rather ‘in-placed dustbins’. Someone came up with that stupid idea and I wonder what that person was thinking.ย  Coz its unhygienic to begin with. Imagine seated in the front row with a bucket full of litter directly opposite you.Seriously? Its nauseating.

But thez one thing that I saw in the matatu that totally made my morning. I dint just smile, I laughed!

And then there is the infamous one in citi hoppas that says “panda bus for a stress free ride. Change inarudishwa bila fujo

 

ION: Joe jana ulioneka ukishuka mat na dirisha. Confess your sins or I will unleash ‘you know what’ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

13 TALES OF LOVE AND REVENGE


Got a secret
Can you keep it?
Swear this one you’ll save
Better lock it, in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
If I show you then I know you
Won’t tell what I said
Cause two can keep a secret
If one of the m is deadโ€ฆ

Why do you smile
Like you have told a secret
Now you’re telling lies
Cause you’re the one to keep it
But no one keeps a secret
No one keeps a secret
Why when we do our darkest deeds
Do we tell?
They burn in our brains
Become a living hell
Cause everyone tells
Everyone tellsโ€ฆ

Look into my eyes
Now you’re getting sleepy
Are you hypnotized
By secrets that you’re keeping?
I know what you’re keeping
I know what you’re keeping

Yes two can keep a secret
If one of us isโ€ฆ. Dead.

I totally love secret….by the Pierces. Its been ringing on my mind all morning!

Have a nice day everyone ๐Ÿ™‚

HOT AND SEXY SALES SLOGANS


Fichua Githeri ushinde nyumba promotion is back! hehehe! How lame! But I have to hand it to them for the originality…How does oneย  fichua githeri?? I also wonder.

Anyway,its called sales and promotion. With the infamous knorr beef cube selling high now,royco guys have to up their game. We have so many promotions when the economy is so bad. Hii Kenya yetu!We’re such a weird nation:) BUT I guess that’s what makes us unique…in a pathetic way!

Ok,back to me.

Every morning on my way to work I usually stop at this ‘famous’ stall to shop or just do some window shopping…I guess thats what makes my mornings worthwhile. Anyhow, today I was shopping for sweaters…then this middle aged woman comes up to me and asks “haka ka-sweater kananitoa aje?” (how does this sweater make me look?) So I look at her,fake a smile and jovially say “aki ni kazuri!ni ka size kako,ata ni strecher.”(it looks nice and fits you perfectly) And then she buys it.

I felt so bad for allowing that lady to buy that sweater coz honestly it looked horrible! But how do you tell such a nice-sweet lady that the sweater she’s choosen makes her look fat? That she should look for something that flatters her figure more?

If I wasn’t in a hurry to get to work I would have taken my time to help her choose something better.Explained to her the slimming effects of the colours black and white and why plump people should not wear loose clothes rather go for something more fitting but less tight. But I guess it doesnt matter,atleast the shop attendant got to sell something. And thats the beauty of sales…fake a smile, lie and make people feel good about themselves,and u’ve made a sale!

Back to our failing economy.

I really dont understand what’s going on in Kenya…the prices of basic goods just keep going higher and higher. At this rate I’ll just have to get myself an Australian Husband and go become a housewife in some unknown Island hehehe! JUST KIDDING. But the situation aint so pretty. Cuz if the price of maize flour keeps rising,how will the common mwananchi(citizen) survive?

I see a situation where we’ll be having Chapatis everyday instead of Ugali because maize flour is too expensive. Shopping will become a luxury…no more fancy dress-codes.We’ll all go back to walking around in skins and hides,,,and ladies will be wearing lesos which I bet will be considered very fancy! No more going to the saloon for fancy weaves and stuff…we’ll have to go back to plaiting matutas and kamatanas. Imagine that!Truly African! I am already psychologically prepared for all this so if it gets to that point, I wont fall into depression like some people I know hehehe!

Anyway, there’s no need to worry about all that because the world is ending on 21st May. All those who watched the news yesterday know this…so see you all in heaven!or hell ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚